Yikes...
It has been an entire year since I started this journal series to document our
Love Story
I have posted three elaborately detailed entries
but wouldn't you know?
There's more...
I'm going to try my best to stop being so wordy and get to the point
or else
I will never get to the part where we actually get married and do
SO MANY THINGS
So here we go
-----------------------------------------
night hike
The night after our first smooch.... (gross mom)
we went on a hike
it was Ensign Peak
and it was dark outside
on the way
I was introduced to a banger by the name of Caroline
I ate a Chimichanga the size of Texas
and we went with two friends on a night hike
I don't remember kissing him on the way up the trail
but on the top of the mountain?
Fireworks
Have you ever wanted to do something
that you have a weird memory attached to
but with the person you are going to spend eternity with instead of the person you were with when the weird memory was made?
I call it replacing memories
because in the memory you have
either the place is great
the activity is wonderful
the scenery amazing
the food is yum
Etc.
but the person/people you were with
or the situation you were in
was not
great
amazing
or yum
maybe the timing was just wrong
the person was just ehh
or the situation was not great
but you still want to have a good memory associated with the good things
Well I realized this night hike that I found someone to do that with
someone to replace memories with
We looked at the stars upside down
I had done this before in a very specific situation
but on a different mountain
I had gone on this hike before
and then on a drive nearby
and left that particular night in tears
I don't mean to sound over-the-top
but I had considered calling the police that night
down the road from Ensign Peak
because of someone who didn't listen
to the word
"No"
but with Nate?
this mountain was magic
Replacing Memories?
when I think of Ensign Peak and laying on my back
perpendicular to the valley below
with my head off of the cliff/hill upside down
staring at the stars
pretending they are boats and the sky is the ocean
pretending
that the city lights are where the beach meets the water
when I think of that
I think of Nate Witt
+ the time we did that together
and how if any tears were welling up
it's because my heart was healing up
(cheeeesyyy:)
my heart was smiling so dang big
on the way down from the hike we were skipping
laughing
and hanging back behind the others to
"tie my shoe"
so that we could sneak a kiss
without the other people noticing
it wasn't a secret, it was just new
I wanted to stay in that bubble forever
in a lot of ways, I think I have.
pizza with Paul and volleyball
Around this time
Paul from Florida came to visit
we went to lunch one Saturday at Ligoris (the best pizza in Utah)
Nate came too!
It was so fun to share a bit of my mission with Nate.
We then headed down south an hour
to Nate's stomping grounds
to play volleyball with his friends
I didn't get to know them much because we were playing volleyball the whole time
but I knew I liked them
and I liked how much they obviously loved Nate
Most of his friends were married
so they were pretty invested in who Nate would end up with
I'm pretty sure he brought quite a few girls around to get their opinion
a few months later we went on a California trip with these friends
and one of the girls told me this:
"After you came to volleyball that first time, I knew Nate was going to marry you.
I even told my husband "I think Nate is going to marry that Ryanne-girl"
I asked her why she thought that so soon
she said
"He seemed so lit up around you. He hasn't been this attentive or happy before."
sunset and pie hole
One night we went to my favorite park in Utah
it's right below the Capitol building and you have to hike down to it
it's so beautiful down there
temples and rivers and ponds
We watched the sunset, grabbed some electric scooters,
and Nate introduced all of us that were there to Pie Hole
it was YUMMY
picture a slice of pizza bigger than your face and thinner than Yzma
Nate paid for me and a girl that was hanging out with us
she was didn't have a date
that was really kind of him I thought
.......
this song is relatable
One of my favorite trips to the cabin
I invited a bunch of friends from our job
to go to Bear Lake and stay at the cabin
it is my absolute favorite place in the world
my family was there and so was Grandma Pat
I was excited for Grandma Pat to get to know Nate
because I have always really valued her opinion about such things
While we were playing Hand and Foot around the table
my mom asked us what she should make for breakfast the next day
Nate said "Can I make breakfast? I love making cinnamon french toast"
We had to get up EARLY because the next day was
The Fourth Of July
if you know anything about boating on Bear Lake on the Fourth of July
you know you need to be there at the butt crack of dawn
So we got up and Nate and I made breakfast
I made eggs and he made french toast
it was yummy and my family was impressed
especially because it didn't stop there
Nate cleared the table until everything was clean
I learned a lot about how service oriented Nate is
part of me honestly wondered if it was a facade
or if it he was just putting his best foot forward
I am one of those weirdos that thinks about the future
maybe if we got married it wouldn't be like this
so don't get your hopes up
aka
try to fall in love for other reasons
I didn't know him yet THAT well
no one really does when they marry someone
SPOILER ALERT:
even though some of my family members thought his attentiveness
help with the boat
food
cleaning
everything
was probably too good to be true
(and I wondered if it was)
I can assure you
that the update is that
It is very much true
after being married almost a year and a half
I can attest that Nate is a rare gem
he helps me keep our house clean
he has done the dishes almost every time that I cook
He is even better at putting away his clothes at the end of the day than I am
ANYWAY
we went boating all day
Nate was crazy
He asked to go on the tube by himself
and egged my dad on to drive like a bat outa hell
at one point the tube literally hit a wave and flew into the air
and flipped on top of Nate
it was crazy
then, Nate decided to try slalom water ski for the first time
he was out in the water away from the boat when my dad said
"if he gets up on the first try he can marry my daughter"
it was a HUGE joke because NO ONE gets up on their first try
absolutely NO ONE
I was actually kind of mad at my dad for saying that
because of how impossible I knew it was
but I knew he was joking
then
Nate flipping got up
the first time
and Skied
picture 10 people on a boat
LOSING THEIR MINDS
My dad has boated his whole life
water skiing has been a sort of right of passage
although I am not great at it myself
and my dad said he has seen someone do that only
one. other. time.
I have a video of all of us screaming because we couldn't believe it.
"Nate is flipping cool"
That night we parked the boat
(as much as you can park a boat without an anchor lol)
and watched the fireworks from the lake
they were beautiful and going off in all directions
we could see for miles
we blasted songs about the statue of liberty
and boots in assess
and the American Way
then this song came on:
"I can't help falling in love with you"
Nate and I were swaying left to right on the deck of the boat
watching the fireworks everywhere
his arm was around my shoulders
mine around his waist
we were side by side
he said
"This song is relatable"
Perfectly Out of Order
which meant
back to the hotel we lived in
so that we could be ready for work on Monday
I was hanging out with him in his hotel room, just sitting on the couch when he told me he loved me
It went something like “I have fallen in love with you”
I smiled a huge smile and hugged him, about to reply and he said “like.. I love you.”
I said “I love you too”
it was such a happy and wonderful moment
I felt like I was watching two strangers experience it
because my heart couldn’t handle the fact that it was happening to us
we had found that special something that people will never stop talking about in the world
we found love
because I am female and was thinking a million thoughts in the background
I thought to myself
(somewhere in a corner that doesn’t really matter)
“I was not expecting him to say that yet!”
If you’re not familiar with the “average” or “normal” progression of things in the state of Utah,
and I’m not talking about a timeline but a process,
I will enlighten you
First you usually “hang out”
What it means when you ask someone to hang out:
Hey who knows? I might be interested in you as more than friends, I might just want to be friends,
I also might not know which I want, but whether I am obsessed with you, in love with you,
in infatuation, lust, like, or wanna be in friendship with you,
hanging out will progress our relationship as human beings.
But I’m not going to tell you any of that.
So you’ll just have to guess my intentions and formulate your own upon getting to know me better.
Unless you already know,
in which case I might be able to pick up on how you feel about me if we hang out.
So hanging out will help me drop hints about how I want this to go, or figure out what I want,
or vice versa.
if you decide/have decide you want to progress romantically you go on a date.
What it means when you ask someone on a date:
Hey who knows? I obviously have some interest in you.
Whether that is physical, emotional, social, or sexual, I want to get closer to you.
On this date we can ask awkward questions fi we don’t really know each other,
or we can just feel awkward and focus way too much on what we are doing without having
any recollection of what we were doing on the date because our minds were so focused on
which ever aspect we are liking about each other.
Hopefully we can figure out each others intentions by the end of the night.
Does my date want some physical closeness?
Does my date want to get to know me better?
Will there be a second date?
Do I want to continue dating this person because they are attractive on the inside, outside, or both?
Next you hold hands. This usually happens on dates 1-3
What it means if someone makes a move on you and holds your hand:
“Hey I like you. I like touching your hand. I hope you like it.
I know you probably wouldn’t tell me if you didn’t.
I hope you aren’t thinking to yourself that you wish I wouldn’t have held your hand.
I hope you like it too.”
But again… you never talk about it because it might be weird.
Then you kiss.
This usually happens around date 3… but let’s be honest it usually happens earlier than that.
You know what kissing is.
Then you continue to do activities to get to know each other on a spiritual, and physical level.
This is when you find out the person is not just trying to get their jollies for the day and move on,
but that they are actually interested in you.
As a girl, you usually don’t start to ask yourself questions about if you are interested in him until this part.
How can you let yourself become seriously interested in someone who might be
looking for a make out session or two.. but not a future?
So you go along with it trying to think about his intentions and if he likes you until about now.
Once you figure that out you either decide you like them, or you don’t.
This is why men often think women lead them on.
They get this far into the process to figure out the guy and realize,
it doesn’t matter because I don’t actually feel compatible with him.
Then they stop dating the guy when he thought things were going well.
In the minds of the guy from day one they ask themselves
“ Do I want to be with her another minute, hour, lifetime?” “What do I want in this situation?
Do I like her? What about her is going to get me to stick around?
Girls are only asking up until this point
“Does he want to be around me? Does he like me? Does he think what I said was funny?
Is he attracted to my mind or just my butt?
Or both?”
I have a whole philosophy as to why I think this is,
but I won’t go into that right now.
So after you both kind of figure out you like each other,
you start to reflect on how much you want to date and like other people.
If the answer is that you don’t want to date or be romantic with other people,
it’s time to become “Official”
“Official” means you are only interested in dating each other.
It is the first loyalty declaration.
If you ask someone to be your girlfriend/boyfriend you’re usually thinking
“I want to pretend we are married for awhile in emotional ways so that I can get a feel for
what it would be like to marry you. I want to get to know you even better.
I want to meet your family and let my family judge you.
I don’t actually want their advice though..
I just want to hear all of the reasons I made a good choice in getting in a relationship with you.
It makes me feel confident in myself.
If they tell me of red flags it’s because they don’t know you like I know you.
I’ll probably ignore those,
but I want a boost of ego so let’s spend time with my friends and family!
I guess we can spend time with yours too.”
At some point between “officially dating” and “engaged” you say the words
“I love you” and it’s a huge deal.
Saying I love you means you have to be willing to not hear it back.
You put your heart out on your sleeve and hope they reciprocate.
Your heart is beating, you feel like you might explode with anticipation,
but you tell yourself it’s okay if they take longer to say/feel that than you.
Not because you really think that.
You just tell yourself that because you know that’s the ideal way to think about it,
and also to protect yourself from the pain and awkwardness
that comes if they don’t say it back right away.
If it goes well, you end up engaged.
If engagement goes well and you manage to keep your raging sexual feelings enough at bay,
you end up.
Sealed in the Temple
Engaged means
“Even though we were already in a committed relationship on a trial basis,
now I want to be in a committed relationship
that mutually agrees that it should stay that way forever.
I am pledging myself to you forever,
but we need some time to plan the wedding
so we can’t just get married today.”
I will tell you all about what Sealed in the Temple means in a later post.
but that is the end goal with the one you have been looking for all of your life :)
So this is the “order” of progression.
Let’s see where Nate and I were at on this progressive list of events
Hanging out: Check
Official date: Not check. We had not been on a date lol.
Nate would like me to point out we had done a lot of work activities together like boating,
and eating out. We also went to the cabin with my family,
as well as a hike and walk in the park. So those sort of count as activities,
but under the Utah definition of a date,
you have to actually use the word date when you ask someone to go on a date with you.
So this had not been done. LOL
Hold hands: Check
Kiss: Double check
Officially together: not check
I love you: Check
but here is my point
it was perfect the end.
I love everything about they way our love story progressed
so out of order by the usual progression of things.
You can see why I wasn’t expecting him to tell me he was in love with me.
We hadn’t gone on a date! I wasn’t his girlfriend!
However, I could tell he wasn’t concerned with the proper order of things
He was being honest, genuine,
and he shared his feelings for me with me despite
whatever standard had been laid before him
He felt love for me, so he didn’t delay
I felt that
I love hm for that
He realized a few minutes later, that he had a question to ask me
“Will you be my girlfriend”
Officially in a relationship: Check
So now you understand how it came to pass that I was in love and had a boyfriend
with someone I had never even been on a date with. ;)
A sidetone about Nate telling me that he loved me that I found out much later:
I was and am the only girl
(of a romantic nature)
to hear those words from Nathan Legrande Witt.
To say it is my honor and most prized possession is the grossest understatement of my existence.
I am the only woman he has said those words to.
He saved them for a girl he had not known long.
I asked him if he was nervous to tell me because he had made it this long,
wouldn’t he be extra sure it was who he was going to marry before breaking that streak?
He explained he hadn’t kept himself from saying that to a woman
with the goal in mind of waiting until he found
“the one”
it just happened organically
he never felt it, so he never said it
and when he did,
he didn’t care if it worked out or not
the fact is that he felt it
so he said it
he had no regrets or worries
he had love
he had no fear
he had love
for me
and I had love for him
I couldn’t give him as precious of a gift that he gave me
I obviously have no feelings whatsoever for the people I said those three words to,
however I have said them.
I am not regretful of that necessarily,
because I am who I am… and it is what it is.
“Be Grateful not Regretful”
well..
I am SO grateful/moved/blessed to know that I am Nate’s only love today,
yesterday, and forever.
I can’t think of any better gift in the universe.
I feel special, and so d*ng blessed.
he makes me feel that way every. single. day.
He is my forever love
I love him more than anyone or anything in the universe
