In The Great Wide Somewhere: 10/24/16

Floridians on P-Day be like: brrrr.... it's 76 degrees outside

This week.

I don't know what the heck happened but there must be somethin' extra in the water around here because so many interesting things knocked on my door

slapped me in the face

tripped me

helped me up

put me on a throne and called me a princess.

What a crazy week.

Some things that happened I really can't talk about,

some I really shouldn't but will for your entertainment and laughter,

and some are just plain disturbing so we will save those for a different time.

The best things that helped my testimony and love for Christ to grow I will also share.

Hold on to your hats folks this week was a wild ride and I'm about to take

you along with me....for most of it;)

Deja vu Status

1. I asked our new investigator if she milks her bulls.

"......Not the bulls....."

you can imagine the look on her face

2. On exchanges in the middle of nowhere, I met an 82 year old who is taking care of her daughter still because her daughter had a stroke. This 82 year old has buff arms, better looking legs than Taylor Swift, and she goes out with the missionaries to share the gospel all the time.

She also has a clothes line and we were able to help her take off all her clean laundry from it and put clothes pins in a bucket and fold the laundry. Yes. It was really fun. Yes. Sister Jenkins and I pretended we were Little House on the Prairie.

3. The missionaryhood of the traveling Pizza.

Niceville Elders to Niceville Sisters: "Hey sisters someone texted us and ordered us a pizza but we have a dinner already so its yours!"

Niceville Sisters to us: "Hey sisters someone ordered us a pizza and you're coming here for exchanges will you pick it up?"

Crestview 1 Elders to us: "Hey sisters the pizza is at Papa Murphy's in Crestview not niceville and the pizza was for Crestview 2nd Elders but they are at a dinner so it's yours. She called the wrong person."

so we drove to where we thought Papa Murphy's was in Crestview and it was actually a Papa Johns so we drove to where the actual Papa Murphy's was and they did not have a pizza for us.

Us to Crestview 2 Elders: Do you know where your pizza that the lady texted the Niceville Elders about who texted the Sisters who called us is? Because it's apparently not at Papa Murphy's... and we are late to our exchanges and have wasted tons of miles.

Crestview 2 Elders to us: What pizza?

WHAT KIND OF A SICK JOKE IS THIS. WHERE'S THE PIZZA?

So we drove to Niceville without a pizza only to find out shortly after that the ghost pizza was in fact at PAPA JOHNS not Papa Murphys. So...where we drove the first time but didn't go in.

so devoid of dinner that night we exchanged companions and called Crestview 2 who picked up the pizza at Papa Johns and we picked it up from them from their apartment because they had already eaten and it was almost nine by the time we ate this five year old pizza.

This pizza traveled through like.. 10 missionaries.

and it was delicious thanks for asking

and thanks to whomever ordered and paid for it.

4. Played bingo with a bunch of seniors and won 3 TIMES which is super uncommon because this bingo was unlike any bingo I've ever played to the point that one of the old ladies had to help me play because it was so confusing but I won nanners.

That's right. We won bananas at bingo. Like seven to be exact.

Everyone is friendly in the South unless you wear a name tag with Jesus' name on it because you will get dirty looks bc "I already have a church"

"So does Jesus, can we tell you about His?"

hehe.... oops..

anyway it's super common to get hugs from random people and kisses from cute old ladies.

5. I started writing this.

His Drops

What does it mean that He shed His blood for me

where did the drops go when they first came to be

did they dissolve into the garden or bring life back to the dead

did they disappear into rocks or soil as they dripped from His head

I know there must have been many for He bled from every pore

but where did those drops go when they could be seen no more

I imagine He was covered as they brought Him from the cross

with His blood my sins are covered the drops were the cost

I'm sure His loved ones cleaned Him to prepare Him for the tomb

the drops became stains in unknown cloth traded for white in that room

the stained cloth was probably tossed out and forgotten, I don't know

but the clean pure linen in which He was laid to rest was white as snow

because of His drops scarlet as they were, my sins which are the same

can be cleansed and remembered no more as I repent in His holy name

not done but in progress :)

6. I found out the hard way that there is such thing as a human pee pad.

Or it was a dog one.. but a human used it..

I could make this a long interesting story, but It sufficeth me to say:

I taught in a home where their struggle to get rid of stuff causes them to be unable to get to the bathroom because said stuff is blocking the way.

So I shouldn't have been too surprised when I sat in a chair to teach the plan of salvation and felt... liquid seeping into my skirt.

I realized then what I was sitting on. So did sister white from across the room.

She was trying to keep it together and not bust up laughing because I was actually, and definitely, sitting on an old women's used pee pad.

I casually stood up and said, "I think this chair is wet." The old lady's sister said, "Oh, I was afraid of that. That's why I don't usually let people sit there. B---- usually changes those."

I sat somewhere else, we taught the lesson, then we ran home so I could change.

In my brain, I was praying the whole time. For my soul. For my sanitation.

LATER I laughed so hard.. (surprisingly)

because I never would have guessed I would ever experience that particular moment in my life and added that to my bucket list of things I could probably have lived my whole live without experiencing and be fine, but nonetheless, gave me something to write home about right ;)

7. I GOT TO SPEND TIME WITH ANGELS PARENTS

Who are they you ask? Only my mothers best friends parents.

About 16 years ago, little four year old Sister Saunders was a flower girl

at her moms bff's wedding in Georgia.

About 16 years later, Sister Saunders knocked on the brides parents door in Niceville, Florida and they took her and her companion to get Thai food after an exchange with the Niceville Sisters.

It was so incredibly weird and awesome to see them and get to know these kind people. Their sweetness and genuine Christ centered lives really touched me, and I thank them so much for taking us to get food and wrapping their arms around us. Thank you so so much.