..Come With Aloha..

Wow

Here’s the actual deal

a bit over a month ago I began a blog post

it was V organized and included going into a bunch of depth about my recent choices/research on a journey to physical and emotional heath

(note:this is a journey and the destination is in 100 years or death or whichever comes first bc improvement and progression have one eternal round)

it was organized into categories like that…
(physical, emotional, educational, spiritual, and social wellness)


finding 1. balance and 2. understanding
 in these things is a major focus of mine and I have an articulate 3 year plan to get to a good place with all of these categories 

The things I have learned here (Oahu) (Earth) and pretty much anywhere at anytime at all have fallen into one of these categories

here is a thought:

The truth is such that life is both one giant cabinet of sorted out stuff

and another cabinet of a bunch of jumbled stuff

I was attempting to share with y’all the content in my organized folders with the post I was finna post

it was neat and tidy

labeled

 color coded

with a strong alphabetical order vibe

I will still share that post on here someday

that picturesque piece of my life through the written word 

will have to wait 

because the meat of my Ted Talk today

is not in an organized cabinet

it’s not even really in the unorganized one

so maybe I take back what I said about the two cabinets all together.

THIS stuff is in the room
with the two cabinets

and it’s floating all over the place

It’s many giant/small pieces of one great chunk of time

a chunk of time that is also a chunk of me

speaking of time

as the writer of my own blog I get to start wherever I want

do you feel powerless

you just have to sit here and read and try to figure out what the heck is going on to make it fit nicely into your cabinet,

inside the file that has a neatly printed name on it

the name assigned to me at birth

my name is on that file of yours folks 

(neatly printed because you wrote it, lawd knows it wasn’t me)

so where to begin

I will start with the end

Today is about 1/2 of the way into October 2019

If I gave you a recap of what happened today it would look like this:

boring

so I won’t

if I gave you a recap of what I felt today it would look like this:

 confusing

but I will anyway

this morning I woke up and rode my bike to Rugby 

I listened to a song that wrecked my heart and make me feel good at the same time

It's low-key called: Everything Sucks


but please don't read into that too much

I played rugby with my classmates for an hour like I always do on Mondays and Wednesdays 

then I cried all the way home

tears of peace

gratitude

love

I was so happy and grateful

I went through the day the same way

my perspective of heavenly purpose thriving

and here I am at night alone in a hammock feeling pain

in my heart 

in my head

Yet, I am still

grateful

and wouldn’t have changed a thing about the situations that led to my uncomfortable joy and sadness

(I'm rereading this one final time before I post it and the last line above this one is just not even true lol)

I got home and tried to shower off the mineral water still stuck in my hair that died it a strange red/brown color

Went back to class

and felt good all day until now

YESTERDAY

arguably the actual best day of my life

if I were to recap what I did yesterday it would look like this:

 Miraculous Amazing Once-In-A-Lifetime Can’t Be Real

If I were to recap what I felt yesterday it would look like this: 

The sweetest joy/spiritual wholeness with an undertone of bitter

So I Will

Recapping the actual heck out of yesterday:

at around 12 am I found myself in a hammock on a different island than the one I currently live on

Kauai 

I was sleeping in a hammock after having a conversation with a boy that took place the day before so I will not share that because this part of my story happened YESTERDAY not YesterYesterday

YESTER YESTERDAY:

Back to Yesterday:

My phone had died and we slept with our backpacks next to the palm tree

around 3 in the morning a Hawaiian man told us to leave

as it turns out

we were in a hammock belonging to a cute cottage-filled beachfront land where we were not permitted to be as we were not "staying" there




"Are you staying here?"


"Um.. no but we will stay here if you let us"

we packed up and walked down the beach

found a small area of grass to set up our tent

saw flashlights

decided against that spot

went for the campground a few miles away but did not make it

happened upon another soul searching traveler sleeping on the beach a few yards down 

we decided to lay down right there and go to sleep like the other human

so we did

a few hours later we awoke to a local Hawaiian man who would later call us 

sister brother daughter son niece nephew

and we would later call him

Uncle Buna 

he was sternly reprimanding us for being sprawled out on the beach next to so many meth houses

he called the users

 tweekers? tweakers? 

he shared with us the danger of the meth infested sand we were sleeping on, and mentioned a really sad incident he had witnessed right where we were sleeping just a month before 

he pointed to his yard that connects to the beach with a cute little fence

he insisted that if we need to sleep,
we should do it in his yard safe from the drugs and the people who would do us harm 

we did not know this man (duh) so we proceeded to pack up + leave to some other random place to sleep

but he softened his words

and told us to come look 

"look I'll show you"

he showed us his yard

offered us a clean bed in an old van parked in his yard and told us to rest up

Uncle introduced us to his wife who made us pancakes 

he gave us a tour of their house and said that we would now be his Ohana and he would be ours

my friend (the boy) asked uncle “how do you make sure people don’t take advantage of your kindness?”

“Intuition. The reason I trust you in my home, is her eyes. They told me you were Ohana. when I saw you on the beach I knew God directed our paths because last night I said to God, who’s next?

Who Can I help?

This morning I felt led to look on the beach and just as I usually see people sleeping on the beach I saw you. I saw your gear spread out and thought

“victims” hah! 

But when I saw her head poke out of the blanket and her eyes, I knew you were soul searchers like me.

 Kindred spirits.

I learned to read people like that a long time ago.”

We took a nap in the van and woke up to a car packed with a lunch, and two incredible people insisting on showing us their kingdom

the next 12 hours were spent driving up to Waimea Canyon

"breathing in love and breathing out negativity"

cleansing our souls with quiet time

views

legends

feelings of oneness 

 at the beginning of the journey, I had a slight uneasy feeling as I watched Uncle pull out his machete and take the boy into the ginger flowers leaving me with Auntie Marcia 

I thought

“he’s going to die”

but I was joking mostly

Uncle was just teaching the boy how to make a bouquet with the ginger bushes.

They made three.

one for me

one for Auntie

and one to give back to the land as an offering of gratitude at the top of the canyon

with a Hawaiian blessing from Uncle,
 I was given the honor of placing the offering of gratitude on the Earth

we later went to a beautiful field from a dream and had a picnic

Auntie had made soft tacos and tuna fish sandwiches

I ate a banana from their tree

best banana I’ve ever had and tasted way different than the “bananas” from any ol’ store

May have accidentally gotten second-hand high in this field 

or I felt the calming peaceful spirit of the Lord

is there a difference? ;)

When we stopped at a canyon lookout, the entrance to the path leading to it was overpowered by signs dictating our entrance

“5 dollars per person”

apparently it’s okay for the government to make profit off of a thousands-of-years-old canyon 

that they had nothing to do with creating…. and have nothing to do with maintaining

hundreds visit this lookout everyday and pay pay away

Uncle was NOT HAVIN IT RN

“I’m not paying nothing”

he said to the young teen asking us for our passes

“This is illegal what you guys are doing. This is my land, this is God’s land. You are not allowed to ask for money unless it goes back to the land and my people.

I’m not paying to see my kingdom.”

Shows them his license to prove he lives there

as if the barefoot shirtless long haired brown man with the paint tattered baggy pants held together by a rope/belt wasn't a native islander..

 a plastic card did the trick

I just walked behind Uncle, looked at the pass collector and said

“We’re with him”

The lookout was beautiful

"the Grand Canyon of Hawaii" as it’s called

on the outside the lookout, there is a small hill across the path.

Uncle sat us down and shared his story of being a child unable to really know his own history

the history of his Kapuna (ancestors) and how they were treated by newcomers

he shed real tears and passionately shared with us the things he learned studying to be a paralegal while in prison for 9 years

we heard his story throughout the day of his alcohol and drug addictions,
and how he has been sober for 6 years

his conversion to God was what strengthened him to quit this lifestyle

homocide

sex

drugs

alcohol

suicide

you name it

and here in front of me sat one of the most Christ-like souls I’ve ever met

not just because of his actions of service toward two travelers

but because of the feeling of the spirit that is around him

a feeling that comes from within him

a man truly converted to Christ

“I’ve got more issues than Surfboard Magazine”

next stop: spa day

“The rest of the world calls it a spa, we call it minerals”

he took us to a waterfall of red, pouring into a small pool of red..

 “not mud, minerals”

we all covered our bodies in the mud and rubbed it all over our skin

“can we get a little mud fight?”

we rinsed using the waterfall, tie dyed a white shirt that uncle gave us using the minerals to do the dying, 

and headed to our next stop

the beach

quick dip in the ocean

fine thick deep sand that your feet sink down to the shins in

then back to Uncles and Aunties for a dinner of homemade guacamole from their avocado tree 

teri yaki burgers

and cheetos 

changed clothes

I wore the only clean article of clothing I had left, a Hawaiian flower printed dress

Uncle still messages me on Facebook about the "Mana flowing from your long hair"

in Hawaiian culture, the length of your hair is tied to the Mana you have. 

Mana is Spirit

they gave us a ride to the bus stop

and I cried real tears in the car on the way there

tears of gratitude joy and a sadness to say goodbyes

“next time you guys come we gonna go surfing”

“Next time you come..” he kept saying 

each time he said those words I believed him a little more

“We will see you soon. Don’t forget to let us know when you get safely to Laie”

......

“When I was a little boy I went to the temple in Laie every week with my grandma. The other cousins were obedient,

  I swam in the fountain.”

“Are you smiling? That’s the only payment I need.”

“It’s not about nationality, it’s about personality.”

“A$$holes come in all different flavors”

Come with Aloha and you’ll get Aloha. 

"Come with anything else and you’ll get a middle finger and a punch in the face.”

“Treat it like home, respect it like home.”

“The new-age mafia is the pharmaceutical companies”

“Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I’ll give you the shirt of my back, but you better not try to take it first.”

“Be true to yourself. One word: Integrity”

“The evidence of God is everywhere. Stop talking about Heaven and Hell, or spreading Satan or Jesus. How can you share light with others and the world? 

You try to talk to people about Jesus and they don’t always want to listen. 

They’ll get there.

 Try talking about light and darkness instead. If you believe in Jesus you better believe in Satan as well. He will try to destroy you, but the Lord is faithful and on our side.”

“You have a brother that lives in…” 

Every time he talked about a traveling man that they have also adopted.

“You have a sister, her name is…” 

Every time he talked about a traveling woman that was also adopted 

“Souls perish for lack of dreams and vision”

“You’ve got to become like a child again. It’s about the moments you spend with people. 

People make life about money and status. 

They ask me what I do? I surf. I surf and I marry people and I farm and I love people”

“Loko Poi, is my best friend. He beat me up the first day I met him. 

Most o’ my friends are from fighting. All the people who taught me, my role models, most kicked my a$$ first”

“Be still. I will bring her to you.”

When praying for a soulmate, that was how God responded.

.....

We spent 12 hours with them

on the bus ride to the airport

 I talked the boys ear off

he said he didn’t mind because he likes my mind

"I could literally listen to the way your mind works through your words all day"

we got on the plane to go back to Oahu 

“can we tell each other that we miss each other even though we are just friends”

“Yes I think that’s healthy and would be healing.”

“Okay me too.”

20 minutes later we landed in Honolulu and ended up on a bench waiting for our uber

I miss you

I miss you too

Car ride home was a bunch of sleep and probably just as much drool

got home

drove him home

hit the sack

then I went to rugby with real happy/sad tears

 (See TODAY for further details in this timeline)

Are you confused yet?

We interrupt this long message with a short one: I’m feeling much more able to share my timeline of events of my time in Hawaii thus far by starting with the most recent days and moving on back.. 

the further back in time I go the more it all makes sense

that’s true with blogging and life

the roots of the problems we face

go back to your roots

had I written this blog post a week ago it would have been more like a drum roll and a build up to some-things that would be too amazing to be true

since i know the outcome for the most part, I figured I wouldn’t do that to you

I don’t like Romeo and Juliet

That’s why I’m telling you the ending first

that way the ending  of this story will be positive

because the beginning was great

make sense?

telling the ending as the beginning so that the beginning will seem like the ending because the ending isn’t the happiest but the beginning was

 so I’m force feeding you a happy ending story because I’m starting with the ending and ending with the beginning

“They lived happily ever… at first then sort of after”

now I’m getting tired

writing is healing and healing is tiring

I will have to share with you all about YesterYesterday another day.. 

so it might be Yester Yester Yesterday if I finish tomorrow

but I’ll just call it YesterYesterday for the sake of trying to take a few of those flying things in my brain and contain them in a cabinet

(GOODNIGHT FOR NOW.. lol it’s only 8 pm)

--------

"Good Morning" -EJ

alright somethings about this post:

It is becoming much too long

more to come

but this is enough for now

ALOHA

hello

goodbye

see you later

love

+

see you later love